How to Enforce a Child Custody Agreement in Tennessee When Your Ex Won’t Cooperate

It’s Friday evening, and your ex was supposed to drop off the kids two hours ago. Your phone goes straight to voicemail. This isn’t the first time—it’s become a pattern, and every violation feels like a knife to your heart. You’re angry, frustrated, and scared that this will never end.

But here’s what you need to know: custody agreements aren’t suggestions, they’re court orders. When your ex violates them, they’re breaking the law. Tennessee courts take these violations seriously, and you have powerful legal tools to enforce your rights and protect your children from ongoing disruption.

What Steps Can I Take When My Ex Violates Our Custody Agreement?

According to Tennessee Code § 36-6-502, both parents shall comply with such order of visitation by turning over custody of the child on the days and at the times so ordered by the court and by picking up the child and returning the child on the days and at the times so ordered by the court.

An order of visitation may be enforced by using the license revocation, denial, or suspension procedures provided in this part and any other sanctions deemed appropriate by the court.

Your next steps should include:

• Documenting all violations with dates, times, and circumstances
• Gathering evidence like text messages, emails, and witness accounts
• Understanding which enforcement mechanisms best fit your situation
• Consulting with an experienced family law attorney who can guide you through the process

This documentation becomes crucial evidence if you need to take legal action.

Common Types of Custody Agreement Violations

Not every disagreement about the custody schedule constitutes a legal violation. However, certain behaviors clearly cross the line into contempt of court territory:

Time-Related Violations:

• Consistently arriving late for pickups or drop-offs
• Failing to return children on time
• Not showing up for scheduled visits without notification
• Denying you your court-ordered parenting time

Decision-Making Violations:

• Making major educational decisions without consulting you when joint legal custody exists
• Changing the children’s medical care or doctors without agreement
• Moving the children to a different school district without permission
• Making religious decisions that contradict the parenting plan

Communication Violations:

• Refusing to share important information about the children’s health or schooling
• Blocking your phone calls with the children during their time
• Not providing contact information when traveling with the children

Safety and Welfare Violations:

• Exposing children to dangerous situations or inappropriate people
• Substance abuse during parenting time
• Leaving young children with unauthorized caregivers

Each violation damages your children’s stability and sense of security, making prompt action essential.

Tennessee’s Enforcement Options

Tennessee provides several enforcement mechanisms that escalate in severity depending on the violation’s seriousness and frequency.

License Suspension Procedures

Under Tennessee Code § 36-6-503, a parent who has been victimized by the other parent’s intentional violation on two (2) or more occasions within any six-month period may petition the court for a finding of noncompliance.

This means your ex could lose their:

• Driver’s license
• Professional licenses (medical, legal, real estate, etc.)
• Business licenses
• Hunting and fishing licenses

Contempt of Court Proceedings

Contempt of court is one of the most powerful enforcement tools available. According to Tennessee family law, contempt occurs when an individual disobeys a court order or otherwise interferes with court proceedings.

Courts can impose:

• Fines proportionate to the violation’s impact
• Custody modifications if repeated violations threaten the child’s well-being
• Jail time for willful violations that persist despite warnings

These consequences aren’t just punishment—they’re designed to compel compliance and protect your children from ongoing instability.

Protecting Yourself from False Accusations

When you take action to enforce the custody agreement, be prepared for potential pushback. Some parents respond by filing their own motions claiming you’re the one violating the order.

Best Practices to Protect Yourself:

• Always follow the custody order precisely yourself
• Document all your interactions and compliance
• Communicate primarily in writing (texts or emails)
• Never withhold visitation in response to support issues
• Avoid making unilateral changes even if they seem reasonable
• Keep detailed calendars showing your adherence to the schedule

What Not to Do:

• Don’t refuse visitation because child support is late
• Don’t make decisions outside your authority even if the other parent won’t respond
• Don’t engage in heated arguments that can be used against you
• Don’t involve the children in the enforcement disputes

Maintaining the moral and legal high ground protects both you and your children.

The Cost of Doing Nothing

Many parents hesitate to take legal action, hoping their ex will eventually start complying or that the situation will resolve itself. Unfortunately, this rarely happens. Instead, violations often escalate when there are no consequences.

What Happens When Violations Go Unchecked:

• Children lose stability and security in their schedules
• The violating parent becomes emboldened to ignore other parts of the order
• Your parental rights become eroded through non-enforcement
• Children may begin to believe court orders don’t matter
• The situation often worsens rather than improves over time

Remember that Tennessee family law recognizes that failures to adhere to the parenting plan constitute grounds for modification of the custody order itself. Consistent violations can actually lead to changes in the parenting plan that favor the compliant parent.

FAQs

Can I stop visitation if my ex isn’t paying child support?

No. Child support and visitation are separate issues under Tennessee law. Withholding visitation because of unpaid support could put you in contempt of court. Instead, pursue separate enforcement actions for the child support violations.

What if my ex claims they had an emergency that prevented them from following the order?

Legitimate emergencies can excuse isolated violations. However, the parent claiming emergency must typically prove it was genuine, unforeseen, and prevented compliance. Frequent “emergencies” or situations that could have been avoided don’t excuse violations.

How long do I have to wait before filing for contempt?

There’s no specific waiting period, but courts prefer to see evidence of a pattern rather than isolated incidents. However, serious violations threatening child safety should be addressed immediately through emergency motions.

Will pursuing contempt hurt my relationship with my children?

While any conflict can affect children, allowing ongoing violations often causes more harm by creating instability and teaching children that rules don’t matter. Courts focus on protecting children’s best interests, which includes ensuring both parents follow court orders.

Can I recover attorney’s fees if I win a contempt case?

Yes, Tennessee courts can order the violating parent to pay reasonable attorney’s fees incurred in contempt proceedings. This helps ensure that following the law doesn’t financially penalize the compliant parent.

Your Children Deserve Stability

Custody agreement violations aren’t just inconveniences—they’re attacks on your children’s stability and your parental rights. The legal team at The Law Office of Sam Byrd understands how frustrating and heartbreaking custody violations can be. Don’t let another violation slide by, hoping things will get better.

Contact our Chattanooga team today for a confidential consultation. Together, we’ll develop a strategy to enforce your custody agreement and give your children the stability they deserve.