The 7 Divorce Tips for Dads That No One Talks About

Divorce is tough on everyone, but it can be an especially harsh wake-up call for dads. Sure, friends and family might offer general words of encouragement like “Don’t worry, it will all work out.” While it’s nice to hear, they miss the bigger picture of the very real challenges divorcing fathers face.

From having your role as a parent questioned and minimized to dealing with financially crippling child support obligations, the deck is often stacked against dads.

We get it. Our family law attorneys have guided countless dads in the Chattanooga area through this transition. Here are the divorce tips for dads that every father should know.

1. The Custody Myth: Don’t Assume She’ll Get the Kids

One of the most pervasive divorce myths out there is that the mother automatically gets full custody. In reality, Tennessee courts don’t award custody based on gender. Their sole priority is determining what arrangement is in the child’s best interests.

In fact, as of July 1, 2024, there is a new legal presumption in Tennessee that favors equal parenting time and joint legal custody. The only exception is if there’s an active order of protection against one parent related to the child.

Under this new law, courts must provide explicit written findings explaining why they’re deviating from a presumption of 50/50 timesharing based on the evidence presented during proceedings. The goal is to prevent parents from being shut out when they’re willing and able to be fully involved caretakers.

At The Law Office of Sam Byrd, we’ve helped many dads secure equal parenting time and equal parenting time and joint legal custody arrangements. The key is being an active, present caregiver from day one. Document your involvement through texts, photos, calendars – anything demonstrating your hands-on parenting role. With the right approach, dads absolutely can and do retain their parental rights.

2. Don’t Leave the Family Home

We understand why some dads impulsively want to flee the family home amid divorce stress. But making that move prematurely is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. It signals you’re voluntarily giving up your status as an actively cohabitating parent. Judges tend to preserve that status quo arrangement whenever possible.

If tensions are too high to stay under one roof, take the proper legal channels first. Consult us about the next steps, like filing for an order of protection or legal separation – don’t just pack up and leave without guidance. There are exceptions in domestic violence cases, but your living situation may impact custody outcomes.

3. Put the Kids’ Needs First Through Better Co-Parenting

Co-parenting with your soon-to-be ex is nobody’s idea of a good time, but it’s a necessity if you want to remain an active dad. Our advice? Keep a business-like, kids-first mentality in all communications and situations involving your children’s other parent.

The easier you are to cooperate with on schedules, decisions, and logistics, the more likely a judge will feel you’re the mature, stable parent to trust with significant parenting time. Plus, modeling healthy co-parenting greatly benefits your kids. It shows you both still prioritize their well-being over any personal conflicts.

Tennessee Code on Co-Parenting

TN laws explicitly state courts must consider “Each parent’s or caregiver’s past and potential for future performance of parenting responsibilities, including the willingness and ability of each of the parents and caregivers to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and both of the child’s parents, consistent with the best interest of the child…”

So avoid shutting out mom (or vice versa) when it comes to choices on health, education, activities, etc.

4. Know Your Rights to Parenting Time

Don’t resign yourself to the stereotypical every-other-weekend deal. Per Tennessee law, dads have the same rights to parenting time as moms. While circumstances vary case-by-case, judges tend to award a Parenting Plan that maximizes time for both parents.

Get creative about schedules that accommodate unconventional work hours. Have ideas for utilizing school breaks, alternating holidays, exercising summer parenting time, etc. If your ex fights you to adhere to the parenting plan, we’re prepared to take enforcement action to protect your court-ordered time.

5. Prepare for Calculating Child Support, Alimony, and Asset Division

Of course, the legal side of divorce involves much more than just custody. You also need to get educated on Tennessee’s child support calculation guidelines, which factor in:

• Both parents’ gross monthly incomes
• Number of children
• Which parent pays for health insurance and work-related childcare
• Potential adjustments for parenting time over/under the typical model

Spousal support (alimony) awards further depend on the length of your marriage, your respective earning capacities, contributions as a homemaker/parent, and other factors.

Don’t assume you’ll automatically lose out on assets, either. We’ll make sure you receive your fair share of marital property like:

• Home equity
• Retirement accounts like 401(k)s
• Investments
• Business interests

Being strategic about financial resolutions from the start can pay dividends for your long-term stability and ability to maintain your desired lifestyle.

6. Don’t Wing the Divorce Paperwork

DIY online divorce is enticing, but what seems simple can quickly become a legal nightmare if forms are filled out incorrectly or issues get contested. We’ve cleaned up one too many self-represented messes where requirements like financial disclosures, parenting plan submissions, and other technicalities were botched.

Don’t gamble with something as impactful as your legal rights, assets, and future with your kids. Clients trust us to provide professional, comprehensive counsel from your initial filing strategics all the way through finalizing the divorce decree. It’s an investment in positioning yourself for the best possible outcome.

7. Prioritize Your Emotional Health and Wellbeing

Divorce forces dads to juggle the immense stresses involved with custody disputes, dividing assets, untangling lives, and likely maintaining a career on top of it all. The emotional and mental loads weigh heavily.

Don’t try to power through alone or downplay the trauma you’re enduring. It’s crucial to prioritize self-care through exercise, pursuing old hobbies, or just decompressing periodically. Surround yourself with a strong support system, whether that’s therapy, divorce support groups, close friends, or all of the above. You’ll be a better dad for it in the long run.

You don’t have to just survive your divorce – you can thrive afterward as an actively involved dad. The path forward starts with having the right team of Chattanooga divorce lawyers in your corner to protect your rights every step of the way.

Schedule a consultation with us at The Law Office of Sam Byrd to get the clear, candid guidance you deserve.